At the foot of the mountain,
a lantern illuminates a small
patch of the night. Moths
gather around the light,
mistaking it for a crescent moon.
~~~
Deep within the bamboo forest
the mountain recluse lights
the lantern outside of his
thatch hut. Navigating moths
flutter around the lambent,
mistaking it for a crescent moon.
I had the line (mistaking it for a crescent moon) in my head and wanted to use it. It now features in two poems. All feedback is welcomed.
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I like both poems. They give that feeling of a Japanese samurai movie. It is still and dark, the natural beauty frames the two. When the two warrrior meet one on one with no one to interfere. But there are witness, the moths watch as the scene unfolds, or fireflies. But that’s just the feeling I get.
Ah, thats interesting. I was going for a Mountain Recluse vibe, kind of like Meng Hao Jan’s poems such as –
Returning Home to Deer-Gate Mountain At Night:
As Day Fades into dusk, the bell at a mountain temple sounds.
Fish-Bridge Island is loud with people clamoring at the ferry,
and others follow sandy shores toward their river village.
But returning home to Deer-Gate, I paddle my own little boat,
Deer-Gate’s incandescent moonlight opening misty forests,
until suddenly I’ve entered old Master P’ang’s isolate realm.
Cliff the gate, pines the path – it’s forever still and silent,
just this one recluse, this mystery coming and going of itself.
But that viewpoint in interesting. Always great to see other points of view. Particulary ones that had not crossed my mind before. Again, thanks for the comment. Much appreciated.
Oh, I like your viewpoint too. I can picture it in my mind also.