Mansion (Thoughts and Musings)

Just three ways I could approach this:

1) Maintain the second person narrative and work more on the story. It is kind of hard to write reactions in the second person though.

2) Change to a first person narrative. Reactions to each room would be easier to write, as would a plot orientated piece.

3) I don’t know how to categorize this but it would be a cross between Julio Cortazars Hopscotch:

and Italo Calvino’s Invisible Cities:

Keep the current beginning to the mansion but then describe the layout (4 wings, upstairs, basement and garden – 5 rooms to a wing, 10 rooms upstairs) and allow the reader to explore the rooms in order or go by their own preference (the rooms would be numbered/categorized). While the plot would be thin, it would be 30 – 40 surreal rooms of bat guano insanity. And part of me likes that a lot.

Feedback appreciated.


About skyraftwanderer

A person who enjoys writing short story things, poetry and other random things that come into my head.
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4 Responses to Mansion (Thoughts and Musings)

  1. D... says:

    I think the second person narrative really makes it hard to expand. It works well for a short piece or a series of short pieces. For the most part it makes me think of RPGs and the Twilight Zone, which worked well because it’s accompanied by a visual. So the directive of emotions is reinforced by what you see, so I suppose it’s harder to explain emotions in that sense. But writing it third person does sort of add an interesting flavor to it.
    I also like the bat guano idea of 30 to 40 different rooms, allowing the reader to skip about (if you get a chance you should really look into that anime I was telling you about). So each room would be like an independent experience, but I think it would be cool for there to be an overarching plot which sort of connects the rooms. I think when you map it out you’ll see a pattern sort of develop and the connecting rooms would have a logical flow, so there is a hidden rewards to reading it in order, but not a requisite for enjoying it. I think though, if you maintain second person then you have to be very descriptive in order to get the full benefit. In this way your words have to be the paint and brush to draw the picture for our imagination. There is that feeling of you as the person going from room to room.
    If you change it to first person, that’s a whole other story. I think the reader feels like their peeking over the person’s shoulder and it’s interesting to go through what they feel and how those feelings change as you make your way throughout the house. It’s the shock-acceptance-enjoyment transitions that would pull me in as a reader.
    Honestly I really like both ideas. But I think for this time I think you would be better served writing in the third person, it’s very inventive and I think you would get a lot out of the process. I think you should write with wild abandon, just go nuts. I think what will come of it will be really awesome. Don’t hold back at all, if it sounds weird, don’t be afraid to write it. Sometimes I think you want to put things in, but hold back. I don’t know why, but that is just the feeling I get. I think we were raised with that western thinking. After reading/watching some Eastern work, the first few times I was a bit put off, but I realize they approach things so differently and it comes out so beautifully. Now this is just an opinion and I know I could totally be wrong. Sorry this was so long, and if the last part sounded dumb sorry for that too.

    • Thank you for the feedback. Sorry its took so long to reply. I’ve been running the comment over in my head for a while.

      Firstly, it will probably go to third person. And by probably I mean it will. It should work a lot better that way. I can do emotions as well as a story with the third person. And its different enough from the first person to hopefully make this project somewhat unique…ish.

      As for the rooms, I am tentatively working on an idea similar to the Chinese idea of elements for the rooms i.e each wing of rooms working on a theme (i.e earth, sky, time etc) which could tie them together. Some rooms would have characters within them and hopefully, in time the rooms would become like characters themselves. And in between the rooms I’d have narrative bits (feelings, what happens outside the rooms etc) but done in the style of Hopscotch (the reader could put them in place if he or she wishes). Making it either a fully fledged story or a tour of a place thats more dream than reality.

      Once again, thanks for the feedback. It means a whole lot. Thank you.

  2. Gray says:

    I am enthralled…you are looking at rooms and doors in a way similar to how I want to explore bridges, which was also inspired by Calvino. (My Twitter handle is @calvinoswhores)

    If you haven’t already, read The Music of Chance by Paul Auster. What you are working at in this series of posts kept reminding me of it, and I know you would enjoy it.

    Here is a question: when you finish the Mansion piece, how will you post it? As a page on your blog? I am bat-shit deep channeling Poe in a 40+ page psychotic delusion that I eventually want to share, but I can’t envision how I could do so in a meaningful, readable way, on my blog.

    BTW, I feel even more complimented after seeing your cleverly [structured] floating ghost & insect poems.

    Subscribing to your blog now–curious to see how the mansion plans unfurl…

    • Thanks for the comment.

      Re: Finishing: WordPress put this out: and the first app is something I am thinking of trying when its all ready. I could post it as one blog entry but its a good bet it would screw up my front page.

      I read Auster’s City of Glass while at uni and loved it. So I’ll look into that. Thanks for the tip.

      Re: Poems: I don’t how I did that (the ghost ones). I just did one with one word per line and the rest followed.

      Oh and I’ve added your blog to my favourites. That poem was really something. And I’d love to read a Calvino approach to bridges.

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