Rooms (Set 5) (Mansion)

A jet black door, furnished with grooves guards the room.

In the grain orbs, luminous, dance in the grooves phasing in and out of a forest of splinters, specks of violet and saffron.

The room itself is black. With the door shut, form is a mere memory. The room lacks any dimension, its hard to tell if there’s even a floor. You wouldn’t know if you were falling in here.

The visitor flails around, trying to find something tangible. Panic sets in so he just stands still. It seems to be the reasonable thing to do. The darkness is oppressive, its apparent infinity closing in.

In the blackness, subtle at first, amorphous orbs sway. Fuchsia, scarlet, saffron, azure and magenta come together in the haze. The circle around the visitor, lingering trails bathing him in rainbow threads. The will o’ the wisps twirl around the room tying knots with each others tails dog fighting in the gloam. Movement becomes speedy, frantic as the orbs spiral, bouncing off the walls. Magenta makes a break, scrambling through the ether, slamming into the door, blowing it open. The remaining orbs follow suite. The visitor stampede’s through the opening watching the orbs shoot down the corridor. He shuts the door on the empty room, the door still alive, the smaller orbs still running through the grain either unable or unwilling to escape.


Rough as always. Also it appears I’ve been obsessed with colours and lights recently.


About skyraftwanderer

A person who enjoys writing short story things, poetry and other random things that come into my head.
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2 Responses to Rooms (Set 5) (Mansion)

  1. D... says:

    I really like this. I have a couple of thoughts. The first is this a bit of a personal experience, it reminds me of this sort of weird waking dream I had a long time ago. I was in bed and it felt like I drifted off, but I was aware of my surroundings. My eyes were open and although the room was dark there were this large glowing spider that was sort of floating towards me with ominous intent (and you know my freakish fear of spiders). But I was unable to control my body. I was trying to scream but couldn’t, I wanted to get away but nothing would move. The fear I felt kept increasing and I felt quite hot, I finally willed myself out of the state, but it wasn’t really waking up. It was all too weird, and I have no real explanation for it. But this piece made me think of that. It feels like the character is swallowed by the darkness and the confusion can be terrifying.

    The second thought was this, I wondered about the characters other senses. In this room are there smells and sounds? For some reason I think mentioning that will add a new texture to the piece.

    I like the little orbs, they seem friendly. I like the idea of the little guys having personalities. I think if you wanted to expand you can give them little identifying personalities. Just a thought.

    • Sorry about making you remember spidery things.

      There is a lot of room for maneuver with these. So I could add smells and sounds. That would give the piece a lot more depth and texture. That would improve it quite a bit.

      Personalities sound good as well. Will o’ the wisps in legend seem to have them. Would make a good addition.

      Thank you for the feedback. Tis good.

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