Recluse (South Mountain) (Overflow)

Morning wanders by my hut
water stirs. I glance outside.

Blue herons fly to South Mountain,
jade tiger rises from a stream.


Uninvited morning wanders through my empty
door. I glance outside, water stirs.

Jade tiger rises from a stream,
blue herons fly to South Mountain.


Morning glow creeps along dirt floor,
eyes open. Splashing water, glance outside.

Jade tiger rises from a stream.
Blue herons fly to South Mountain.


Forage through herb abundance on South
Mountain, sunlight pools in cassia leaves.

It’s why you moved here, your hermitage entwined in
viridian mists. I find your hut,empty and still so

I leave this poem on your bramble gate
and on a whim, I ascend South

Mountain peaks. Sticks snap underfoot –
blue herons startle away – azure in cassia branches.


South Mountain peaks, boundless and empty to townsfolk.
But here immortals dance among indomitable pines.

Above the sun blue herons fly into paper folded clouds
– azure heaven change – clouds the body, clouds the wings.

Sonorous bird song radiant clarity – makes mountain forest sing,
each beat moves the clouds, red dust cleared from rivers

and peaks, ochre streams flood forests and fields,
canyons and gorges, jade and emerald rises.

Petals scatter on crystalline swells – night lengthens slowly –
coldness wanders by but I believe I will linger here, a little longer.


Picture one found here:

Picture two found here:

I don’t normally do this but I had a hard time choosing between some drafts and I liked some so much I thought I’d place them here. Went through a few variations.


About skyraftwanderer

A person who enjoys writing short story things, poetry and other random things that come into my head.
This entry was posted in Poems and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Recluse (South Mountain) (Overflow)

  1. Pingback: Recluse (South Mountain) (Poems) | Golden Giraffes Riding Scarlet Flamingos Through The Desert of Forever

  2. Beautiful imagery in your words!

  3. ManicDdaily says:

    So many many beautiful lines and images here. I enjoyed seeing the different versions and think they kind of go together, like turning the head and looking out the hut door again and again. My only suggestion—and please do not take amiss as I really liked the poem–is maybe you want to make the tenses completely consistent. Some things present tense, which I thought worked better, and some past. (I’m thinking specifically of “water stirred” when the rest of the poem is present tense?) Anyway thanks much. K.

    • Thank you for the comment.

      No, it’s good you picked that out. I missed it and it was a mistake. Thank you.

      Given the comments this post is getting, I may have picked the wrong versions. I am liking the final poem in this post a fair bit after reading it over.

      I do like the effect of looking outside of the hut. Didn’t intend for that though. I like it when some one see’s something I can’t.

  4. Robert says:

    Beautiful imagery. I particularly like the first and the third poems.

  5. Thomas Davis says:

    There is so much beauty in what you write that I am always amazed when I come back here. Your poetic sense is so deep that I always feel like I’ve fallen into a deep well and woke up in some other place where Chinese mountains are drawn on the horizon and words sing through days and nights like exotic birds with long tails and multi-colored feathers and beaks. This is incantation more than song, image more than idea, feeling buried inside ideas.

    • The incantation point is interesting. Chinese poetry, in this style (at least some of it) was written with chanting in mind. While I’ve never intended that, seeing it noticed is pretty awesome.

      And this is just my favourite poetry to write. It’s the first I enjoyed reading and the first style I tried writing with. Been so much fun to revisit it over the course of these poems.

  6. Steve says:

    South Mountain sounds like a beautiful place to linger a little longer – I love your use of refrains to build the scene – very nice 🙂

  7. colleen says:

    I’d like to go there. I like the idea of the uninvited morning wandering through an open door and its glow creeping across the floor.

  8. Bodhirose says:

    Somehow the story of Siddhartha came to me while reading your wonderful posts. I imagined a yogi/hermit living simply…I really like what you have portrayed here.

  9. Ben Naga says:

    Reminds me of moments in my life when there were two ladies in my life simultaneously. It’s a long time since I remembered that feeling.

  10. D... says:

    You know I heard this Chinese artist tell a Japanese artist that he could tell from his work that he was Asian. He said you can tell because when Asian artists paint they become part of the landscape. I dare say you capture that element in your writing. The voice of the narrator is that of the entire environment, or it has that effect. Oh so lovely and gentle.

    • Oh yeah. Those landscape paintings are beyond sublime, and possess the awareness of that we are merely part of this world. And it’s bigger than us. Like way bigger.

      If I’m capturing that, well, that’s pretty great right there.

  11. La Comtesse says:

    Oh, winter is nigh, Let us fly to my log cabin home in the sky!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s