Raft settled in Carp Tail Cove, oar song
fallen silent. Ancient trees bracket recluse
paths, thatch hut light shines through pine
green veils. Cook smoke drifts, your bramble
gate must be open. Our last meeting lost to
dust, and so long since we shared a dharma
mat. I shall cross the gorge –
moonlight on moss my guide.
~~~
Raft settled in Carp Tail Cove, oar song
fallen silent. Ancient trees bracket recluse
paths, thatch hut light shines through pine
green veils. Cook smoke drifts, fusing the
forest to the sky. I remember our last
meeting in long ago distance – you never
tire of inviting immortals
down from heavens edge.
~~~
Raft settled in Carp Tail Cove, oar song
fallen silent. Ancient trees bracket recluse
paths, thatch hut light shines through pine
green veils. Cook smoke drifts over tree tops.
You still seek that rope to the immortals.
Crossed legs on pine needles
I sit, hoping to see you
ascending to immortal heights.
~~~
Raft settled in Carp Tail Cove, oar song
fallen silent. Ancient trees bracket recluse
paths, thatch hut light shines through pine
green veils. Cook smoke drifts, invitation
for tea. I can cross the gorge on moonlit
paths – the tigers lost to twilight depths.
~~~
I had four versions, but couldn’t pick a final. So here they all are.
Inspired by Meng Hao-jan’s Returning Home to Deer-Gate Mountain at Night which I have already posted on my Blogger Blog, and another poem of his I can’t find right now. will post it when I do.
Pictures one and three found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wang_Hui_%28Qing_Dynasty%29
Picture two found here: http://www.historum.com/art-cultural-history/9507-favourite-paintings-intimate-historum-gallery-11.html
Picture four found here: http://www.chinese-painting-mall.com/y2.htm
Golden Giraffes Riding Scarlet Flamingos Through The Desert of Forever 
Kinda reminds me of the style of coleridge, very good.
Woofs
Thank you for the comment.
It’s ridiculously humbling when comparisons are made with genius poets. One tenth as good as them (long way off) and I’ll consider myself to be good.
All four of them work together. It’s like a journey taken over and over again. There feels like there’s a reason you wrote four versions, but we just don’t know exactly yet. I see that there’s a final, and I skimmed it and came back here. But it’s almost like four men taking the same journey. I feel like there is something here, rather than just four versions…but it’s just my feeling.
If I have multiple final’s I like I’ll run as many as I can. In this case I couldn’t pick one so I ran with all of them. It’s fun to see how many times you can run with a single idea.
And to see them all work on some level. It’s pretty good.
I like the second one the best. Just me.
I be fine with that.
Bring a whole new life to the pics, I liked the final one the best, but all surely pass the test.
Very cool, I love Chinese poetry as well and find it inspiring (though my comment below is more like a tanka). Actually I liked the fact that you showed different versions. It was like having a refrain.
In Golden Bay
You rolled a scroll
In brush stroke
To welcome us
For tea and verse.
God, I love this magic! …and you hooked me with that titlle! There are some wonderful images here…”Thatch hut light shines through pine green veils” “cook smoke drifts fusing the forest to the sky” There are others…but these two strike me as particularly lovely. Any of the versions are beautiful in their own right. Beautiful poem!
so interesting to see all four versions. I think that last is my favorite, though there are things I love about each. i think it works well to show all four.
i think the second one is my fav…a bit of magic as always in your imagery….very cool to see all the versions up close….
I enjoyed the development of these, the refrains added a lovely harmonic element to the reading. ~ Rose
I enjoyed all four but the second was my favourite 🙂
I think I like the first and second best – I truly love the idea of moonlit moss= and the idea of sharing a dharma mat – is very beautiful but the dharma mat may not have the same resonance for others. There is something very cool about the inviting of the Gods – and also carries the smell of fate intervening in some dramatic way. k.
Oh my. I like all four…and I like them together. Something about the repetition of those initial lines made the whole thing open up for me in an unexpected way…mantra-like.
I love all of them! Love moonlight on moss. Beautiful poems!